By Adesida Adewumi
I was in the accident and emergency unit when I saw a father, mother and their daughter; and another father, mother and son arrive. The boy was crying profusely. Right there, the father dished him a slap.
“Femi, you put me and your mother to shame”.
“Daddy, I didn’t rape her, God is my witness”, he said amid tears.
“If you had been that God’s witness as I brought you up to be, may be you would not be calling God as your witness now, after putting me to shame”, his father retorted angrily.
The fight between the two families continued even in my presence in the emergency unit, with the father of the girl spitting fire, threatening how he would send the young man to 21 years imprisonment for raping his daughter and I could see the daughter shaking, crying and muffling some words like, “daddy he raped me, he raped me….”
In all these, I was just an onlooker. I talked to myself that I needed to end this whole drama and take charge. Afterall, I was the doctor they came to see.
I invited them all into my consulting room. All of them, six in number. Mr. and Mrs Chukwu and their daughter, Amaka; and Mr and Mrs. Olu and their son, Femi.
I calmed everybody down in my office. The most difficult person to be calmed down was Mr Chukwu who kept spitting fire on the issue of his daughter, Amaka being raped by Femi. He kept threatening how he would make sure the young man rotted in jail for 21 years.
“You”, he said, pointing to Femi, “had the audacity to come to my apartment to rape my daughter, my own daughter, inside my own house, you are dead meat”.
I stood my ground again and told him if he would not allow me to do my job then they could all go out of my consulting room and go and see another doctor in another hospital.
At this juncture, I seemed to get his attention. As I was about to get him to give me a background of what happened, a call came in for him. Immediately after his call, two army officers stepped into my office, obviously to arrest Femi, I guess. I calmly welcomed them, but…. Now, I had nine persons, including myself, crammed into my consulting room.
Like I said I was the one in charge here. So I told everybody to calm down so that I could sort everything out. At least they needed my report to prosecute the boy in the court of law.
I asked Mr. Chukwu who obviously looked most aggrieved what the problem was. He said Femi raped his daughter, Amaka, in his own apartment and he caught Femi right in the act!
I told him I would try to sort him and everybody else out as best as I could. However, I added that in my profession there was something called confidentiality, which everyone is entitled to.
I asked Amaka, the daughter, how old she was, she managed to answer, amid sobs, that she was 18 years old.
Femi said he was 19 years old, when asked.
I asked Femi further how he got inside Mr Chukwu’s apartment. He said they were next door neighbours in the same estate, and that Amaka was his girlfriend. Amaka immediately and vehemently denied this.
“Now I think I know how to resolve the whole issue”, I said to no one in particular. I announced to everybody I would interview each person involved in the matter individually, starting with my primary patients, Amaka and Femi.
I sent everyone else out, and began the interview with Amaka. I called in a trusted nurse, our emergency matron, to be my chaperone.
I made Amaka relaxed, and calmed her from all her shaking and gave her my utmost reassurance that all she said would remain between us. After winning her confidence, I appealed to her to be sincere with me, and that her parents would never get to hear anything she told me.
The first statement I heard from Amaka’s mouth shocked me to my spine’s marrow.
“Femi didn’t rape me doctor, he is my boyfriend in the estate.” I was shocked.
“Then why did you tell your father he was raping you when he caught two of you in your apartment?”
She said her father was a strict senior army officer who would kill her if she did not claim rape. I looked at Matron, she saw the way my soul sank inside of me after hearing the statement.
“Amaka, now the life and future of a young man are at stake, what do we do now?” I asked quietly.
“Doctor, I can’t own up, my father will bury me alive”.
I kept quiet for a while, ruminating over my next line of action. Then, I spoke up.
“The limits of confidentiality I owe you ends where the freedom and safety of another person starts”, I told her pointedly.
“According to our ethics, if the life of another person is at stake, I don’t owe you confidentiality. I will have to tell the truth”, I added.
I asked her further when the relationship started? It was four months old, she said.
I asked how many times they had sexual intercourse and if it was protected. She said six times, four of which were without condoms, adding that they were caught the sixth time the father came back from work to pick something.
I asked her what she was presently doing. She said the two of them, Femi and herself, were seeking admission to University, adding that they wrote the last JAMB examinations, and were awaiting results.
On whether condom was used this last one the father caught them, she answered in the affirmative.
Now, for me, the matter resolved.
The only problem now was Amaka being ready to tell everybody the truth so that every party outside the door could rest.
For me, this is a little trying time. I was in an ethical dilemma in case Amaka did not do the right thing.
Well, the way we were trained to handle this kind of issue was for me to insist Amaka tell the truth or else I would break our confidentiality and tell everybody the truth myself.
I counselled her to please do the right thing. Matron joined me in the counselling, pleading with Amaka to take responsibility for her action even if it would mean her father burying her alive and save the young man from rotting in jail; because if Femi was taken out of my consulting room by those military officers, it might make the permanent difference in the life and future of the young man as a “rapist”.
After so much pleading, Amaka reluctantly agreed to own up and tell everybody the truth.
I invited others in since the truth was here now. So I announced to everybody to be calm that Amaka had something to tell them all.
One look at her father’s face, Amaka balked and insisted she was raped by Femi.
At this point, I was forced to tell everybody the truth. Amaka denied, and said i was lying against her, maintaining she didn’t tell me Femi and her were friends who had consensual, voluntary sex.
I was shocked. I was confused. I opened my mouth and could not close it.
Three times, I called her by her name. She brazenly answered those three times.
“Are you serious you did not tell me and matron all this, what you just told me and matron right here?” She denied completely, and stuck to her guns that we were lying against her.
Her father came after me that I was trying to support the young man against his daughter.
But I was more shocked by what the matron did.
She told Amaka’s father, “What if we played the audio of everything your daughter confessed?
“What audio?” Her father and I asked simultaneously.
That was how matron brought her phone out of her pocket and played all the things Amaka said to everybody’s hearing.
Femi shouted “I said it, I didn’t rape her, God was my witness”. His father gave him two dirty slaps that shut him up immediately. Imagine! Calling God as witness to a sinful conduct!
Amaka’s father too moved menacingly in her direction and delivered three loud and hot slaps, stormed out of the consulting room with the instruction to the other two other army officers to bring his wife and Amaka to meet him at home.
I was left with Femi, his relieved parents, and the matron. At least they were relieved their son was not going to prison for 21 years for rape. But they were bitterly and utterly disappointed in their son. They said they were elders in their church, and their son had put them to this kind of shame in their estate. As deacon and deaconess, the parents said they had introduced their son to God several times and made sure he attended every Sunday Service and programme with them, but didn’t know he was not born again.
I encouraged them not to give up. They should continue praying for him and bringing him up in the way of God, because I believed very soon their effort would yield result. They also left.
“I stand at attention, ma o. Were you working for the FBI in your former life?”
Matron laughed and left the consulting room, defending herself that she knew the Amaka girl would deny; that she knew the girl was lying all the while, that was why she did what she did. Alone, I learnt afresh that an experienced matron was needed at all times.
And then, the lessons came flooding in.
One, under no condition should any woman use rape as a defence against any man. Rape is a very big thing. Even If a man offends you or you need an escape route, please don’t use rape to send any man to prison, I plead with you in the name of God. Take responsibility for your action.
Secondly, teenagers and young people, premarital sex is a very, very big, big thing that you should never in your life dabble into. The complications of premarital sex can destroy your future and life in a way you may never recover from. The complications range from unwanted pregnancy, to sexually transmitted diseases like gonorrhea, syphyillis, HIV, Hepatitis etc.
Others are: Ectopic pregnancy from contraceptive use, to ending your career and life prematurely, to putting yourself and your parents to shame. Sex is only meant only for married people alone.
Parents, dont think because your teenagers are following you to church every Sunday and to every programme, you think they are born-again. You need to still give them monitoring and home training and be their friend and give them parental love and nurture them in the way of God.
Apply appropriate discipline at every necessary time and monitor the kind of friends they keep in the estate, school, church and every other place they go, so they do not bring you that shame you most fear.
I was still in shock at what my “FBI” matron did; but if not for her, may be I would have been in soup also.
▪ Dr. Adewumi works in the Department of Family Medicine, Aminu Kano Teaching Hospital (AKTH), Kano, Nigeria.
▪ Editor’s Note: Please note that names and some circumstances have been altered to protect the identity of persons involved in this story.