Dear Devaan,
I am a single career lady who has been quite successful in life. Not feeling good about living entirely on my own in my house, I got two young ladies to stay with me on a quid pro quo basis: they help around the house and serve as companions, I pay their fees.
Well, shortly after bringing them in, I observed that the older girl (21) was constantly absconding from school or not just turning up at all. Her truancy really grated on me because I went through so much to get her into the senior secondary school system at an age when many of her mates are undergraduates, never mind the financial implications. As a young adult, I felt she would be much more serious than her counterparts but that was not the case. Additionally, and perhaps more worrying, was her proclivity for sexual escapades with practically every male in the vicinity. This behaviour was not just scandalous but obviously risky.
What if she falls pregnant or picks one of these diseases with no cure?
What if she tries an abortion and ends up with complications or even dead?
I got fed up and kicked her out of my house. Shortly after her departure I observed she had left a diary behind and read it. The revelations contained therein were horrifying.
This girl revealed that she had been sexually defiled from the age of 8 whilst living in the village with her widowed mother. Apparently, a teenage boy would lure her into the bushes and have his way with her, and whenever his father would drop in on the girl’s mother, he would seize every opportunity to poke his fingers into her. She got used to it…and came to enjoy it and there began her problem.
She wrote of how this albatross has followed her around all her life and destroyed all her opportunities at giving herself a better life. She spoke of unanswered prayers to God, begging Him to redeem her. She spoke of nights spent weeping because of shame and her inability to wilfully stop.
Seeing her sad story, I went after her and was able to locate her and have since linked her up with a psychologist. The sessions have not even started yet but I am willing to pay to get her out of this mess.
I just figured it might help to get a neutral party’s opinion regarding this issue. Do you have any other suggestions? What do you think of my action?
Felicia.
Devaan says……
Dear Felicia,
Thanks for reaching out. I have heard stories like this and even had the misfortune of encountering a highly sexualised baby at one point in my life so its not totally out of place to hear that a 21-year old has similar challenges.
Paedophilia is rife and in some instances a result of incest. Parents need to keep their eyes wide open. We live in evil times.
Back to your question, while I totally admire this beautiful thing you are trying to do, I must warn you, my sister, that this is not a problem that will end overnight. I am sure the psychologist will tell you this. This seed is one that might take years to uproot. The good thing is, she knows there is a problem. She desires that it be dealt with. You are willing to help bear even the financial costs. These are all positives.
But here is the downside.
Who really is this girl to you? Clearly you are not related. One thing life has taught me is to tread carefully around mysterious situations and watch out for myself while trying to help others. Sometimes things go way beyond the ordinary. This lady might be struggling with a spiritual situation as well. Sexual sins, especially at that tender age tend to open up the soul to maleficent beings outside our realm. You need to be spiritually fortified yourself to keep that girl around you.
Look for a someone who is truly spiritually in tune with God, not just any random pastor or priest and certainly not most of these pretenders jumping around on television. Plead with God to direct you on this, even if God decides to use you. It could be a learning curve for you in this sphere of life. If however, your diligent prayer and research leads you to others, tell them the story. They will work to free her from this bondage spiritually, while the physician handles the physical part.
If you were married or had kids I would have urged you to have a rethink. But since that is not the case, just watch your back even as you help this girl and make sure you are invested in her for the long haul. You may have to be around more often or find a means of keeping tabs on her as well. This will be a full-time job for you my sister.
I am not trying to frighten you off, just telling it as it is or rather, as I see it.
God bless and protect you as you embark on this project.